Topic: Alcohol

Tragedy hit my neighborhood this past weekend. My 18- year-old neighbor killed his best friend in a drinking and driving related car accident. His car went out of control & went down into a ditch, flipped over, hit a tree, and crushed his friend to death a couple of blocks from his home. The driver and other passenger will live, they all had their seat belts on. My neighbor looks to be doing at least 5 years in jail, if convicted. The press is so obnoxious, they are at the end of his street hounding kids for info when they get off the school bus. This is a lose-lose situation for everyone!

I think this Esquire statement in a recent Clapton interview prompted me to post this. "Addiction doesn't negotiate." I've been sensing for a few years now that some of the baby boomers kids are drinking too much and some of the parents, maybe on the subconscious level, are thinking alcohol is a better choice than some of the stuff that went on back in the 70's. I have been really taken back by the excessive amount of underage drinking on college campuses and how much authorities turn the other way. Some of these young adults will become alcoholics, based on patterns that started in high school.

I'm not trying to be preachy, but with the holiday parties upon us, don't drink and drive!!!

StringsforaCURE~Helping cancer patients one STRING at a time.
http://stringsforacure.com/

Re: Alcohol

Angela...Preach please.
Welcome to America where you have to walk past cigarettes & candy to get to the Px counter.  I hardly know where to begin.  Somewhere along the way I grew up.  Alcohol & tobacco are freely available and marijuana & narcotics are controlled at best, illegal at worst.

I have no fight with anybody but the ravening wolves of the press.  I don't drink, don't drug; haven't for 24 years.  Don't mind them that do unless they're underage and/or driving.  This is a tragedy of never ending ramifications.  We are our own worst punishment.

That being said, I believe in Divine Providence and we will pick our own path as we will pick our own poison.  More laws and more press won't fix it.  Maybe you and I can maintain some sanity in our families and our own neighborhoods.  I sweep my porch.  You sweep yours & the 'hood looks purty good.

My kids don't drink, their choice.  My wife and I have never made any bones about where we came from.  Addiction is hell & does not negotiate.  The kids know it's in their blood.  I am a survivor & I KNOW gut level that everything happens for a reason.

I feel you,
Much Love
Jeff
http://www.sweetandsassysalsa.com
http://bigjeffjones.wordpress.com

Rock On & Keep the FAITH
             It is
Blues From the Bottoms

Re: Alcohol

Angela,

What a terrible tragedy. I'm so saddened to hear this.

The hubby and I both had wild pasts with much drinking and drugging but gave it up many years ago. My 20 year-old son doesn't drink or drug, mostly due to the horror stories from our past. We consider ourselves fortunate that he has resisted the influence of friends and classmates in this regard. Believe me, we've heard similar stories way too many times. sad

I'm just saying.

Re: Alcohol

Sorry Angela....This kind of tragedy near the Holidays is the worse. 12/05/69 I had my daughter..12/22/69 a drunk driver hit my husband. He never recovered..died the following Labor Day..That's why I became a nurse..I've got vices, don't get me wrong..I don't drink because it makes me sick..the good thing is I'm a built in designated driver....Your neighbors life will be changed forever..hope it stops his friends from making poor choices. I hope everyone has a blast over the holidays..just don't endanger others!!!     Cathy

Re: Alcohol

There might be those who take exception to this thread appearing here, but if it makes one person re-think their actions over the holidays, it's value is immeasurable. Thank you Angela for sharing this story.

There, but for the grace of God, go I...

Re: Alcohol

Aside from the rare occaission I'd have maybe wine or Apple-tini - I don't do any of that poison. I found the best way to get out of addiction is to never get in.  I went the first 22 years of my life without a drop or smoking. Throughout highschool and college - I was always asked "how do you do it" (especially at house parties where I was drinking soda). I'd get to drive the girls home...there was benefit to being the sober guy. AND I was ordering guitars with my extra cash when some of my friends were hung over and broke.

I'm worried about the day I have kids because a small percentage of kids wait till they're 21. If my 17 yr old kid was drinking or whatever, I'm not sure about what I'd do...especially knowing its so common.

- Nic from Detroit... posting on JB's Forum since 6-2-2006
Ask me about my handwound Great Lakes Guitar Pickups
Since 2010, Bonamassa fans have taken advantage of my JB friend discount = my cost + shipping. cool

7 (edited by Barbara 2007-12-12 20:27:17)

Re: Alcohol

Thanks for the post Angela.  I am truly sorry to hear about your neighbors car accident.  Lets hope all his friends who drink and drive will now think twice before getting behind the wheel of a car.  I believe alcohol and alcoholism touches a lot of us on many different levels.  I have a younger sister who now has been in recovery for 15 years and back in the early 80's I lived with her through her non stop die hard partying for a few years.  As I look back now I realize that the years we lived together for me were at many times difficult, stressful and filled with worry.  Cathy, thanks too for sharing with us a little bit of your painful heartfelt story.

    .....Barbara

Re: Alcohol

My main message with the post is:

Drinking alcohol is a personal choice, driving drunk is morally irresponsible.

Thanks for the feedback...Cathy sent you an e-mail...WOW...true, alcohol impacts many in many different ways...and Nick...you represent the silver lining in the benefits of being a non-conformist...excellent message to others.

Jane...I wasn't going to elaborate, but music is great on so many levels, productive use of ones time promoting good self-image, the healing qualities etc.  I was cleaning out a pile from a magazine rack and came across this article I saved from August.  I see a disturbing trend amongst some teens/young adults.  Is it because there is more stress among the youth today...terroism, fear of the draft, school shootings, pressures to achieve...I don't know.  I look at this boy that died, who was also intoxicated supposedly, he competed on 2 swim teams, played soccer and lacrosse, volunteered at his church, gave blood...his obituary was one page away from a sports report of taking second place in a swim meet the night before.  I'm seeing... work really hard (bordering on over-achievers status as my kids call it) and party really hard, to the extreme.  And not just in my backyard...a college freshman from Conneticut, valevictorion/#1 in his high school, credentials out the cazoo, drinks to oblivion, consistantly every weekend until he blacks out, rarely drinks during the week with a rigorous major, so the weekend reward....BUT until he blacks out???  This article goes into how the drinking trend is different than it use to be and more dangerous. I haven't researched anything enough to take a stance on lowering the drinking age, but my older brother whose a lawyer with 2 kids currently in college & one done feels it would eliminate this binge drinking trend, as he sees it.  I can't get my head around that, but prohibition on many levels has not been successful historically, that's how Cuba became a hot spot back when prohibiton took place in the US. I don't know what the solution is, but as a parent, the best to hope for is enabling our children to make good decisions, especially when they leave the nest. 
http://www.parade.com/articles/editions … n_Drinking
So, if this isn't relevant...whatever, the majority of us drive amongst drunk drivers..its the luck of the draw..luck...fate.  Not all the youth out there drinking is getting behind the wheel...so its multi-layered. 

And Jane, bringing it back to music, a couple Eagles lines are churning in my head...in a New York minute, everything can change....and... Forgiveness...the mother of the deceased forgave the driver and does not want to press charges, the father feels differently....

Safe travels everyone over the holidays! 

Stu Craig wrote:

There might be those who take exception to this thread appearing here, but if it makes one person re-think their actions over the holidays, it's value is immeasurable. Thank you Angela for sharing this story.

There, but for the grace of God, go I...

StringsforaCURE~Helping cancer patients one STRING at a time.
http://stringsforacure.com/

Re: Alcohol

I told my story to show how quickly life can change...The secret to a safe night out is to make the driving/taxi/sleepover plans BEFORE you start. Tell that to your kids. How many times have you tried to reason with a drunk? It's too late then. Also, here's a little physiology lesson...The posterior pituitary gland (pp) contols your body's fluid balance thru a hormone called antidiuretic hormone. When your blood reaches a certain level it suppresses ADH...that's when you start noticing an increase in visits to the bathroom. Most people think it's due to increased fluid intake. Also, it's the reason why you're dehydrated the next day...So, pace yourself. When you notice more loo trips remember pp(easy) and switch to a non-alcoholic drink for a bit to rehydrate. You won't lose your buzz and you won't have one of those awful moments when you realize you're trashed. AND, you'll feel better in the a.m.     There will not be a test! LOL       Cathy

Re: Alcohol

Angela, Jane, Cathy, and all...thanks.

Respect to you for spitting it out when something was bothering you.

It occured to me, after reading my post above, that for someone who does not know me, my post makes little or no sense...I apologize for the seeming contradictions. 

Drunk driving is morally irresponsible.  I agree for all the obvious reasons and a few like Cathy mentioned above.  Yeah...family.  Gone now in a flash.

Even though I am one of them there recovered sorts, I have no problem with anybody partying or "taking the edge off," however they so desire.  I don't even think it should be against the law.  I often bartend and drive folks home.  My choice.  I have fuel in my shed out back...not gonna drink that either.  lol  Bigjeff will take your keys from you.  It's the greater act of love.

I made a crack about America in that same post above.  More laws and more press won't fix it.  I love this country.  I work in a state criminal justice department.  The "war on drugs" (and alcohol is a drug) is a prohibition and a waste of time and resources.  The lawyer has a point.  Experimentation becomes illegal and therefore chic and glamorous.

And dangerous. 

The shift in values for anybody (young or old) who strays from a few basic tenets as time marches on (and the constant barrage of media) creates that stress you speak of.  It's all external and it's all material.  Conspicuous cumsumption...Now! 

I feel everything.  It has no power over me, though.  Even though I'm a stone capitalist, that exterior **** is not where I live.

I'd rather be in my kayak on the water with a cigar. or giving it up playing the blues! cool and the force that flows through me heals me.  By the grace of God, this dad is at HOME.  I survived my addictive past & being run over 10 years ago.  Balance is the key.

My trophy wife and I have been together over 23 years.  (Yes I pulled young.  Don't hate.)   My kids are all scholars, athletes, musician/poets & artists.  We are an involved family.  "giving them another way."  The one I grew up in was a mess.

Please forgive that brag.  I love this thread and I love you guys for sharing and letting me know you.  I'm done.  My pp (nurseCathy) says I 've drank too much coffee.  My ADH is plumb suppressed...Hope y'all know me better now.

Love,
Jeff

Rock On & Keep the FAITH
             It is
Blues From the Bottoms

Re: Alcohol

It's nice to have you here Jeff..Post away and don't worry..No judgements or drama from me....Lots of music info here to keep us all busy. Share your tastes, experiences and stories. Most of the time it's not "heavy" topics. I hope you feel at home here..Like the song.."I Know Where I Belong"..and props to you for working to have such a solid family!!!!!!  Cathy

Re: Alcohol

I don't know if it's been on the news in your area, but a drunk in Ohio drove his pick-up onto the interstate the wrong way and slammed into a mini-van head on. He lived but he killed 5 people..2 of them were the children of a local man who were visiting their mother and stepfamily..They were 7 and 8 years old. Their mother also died....Sad..and people even tried to stop this guy! It always matters, not just at Holidays...   Cathy

Re: Alcohol

We could learn something from other countries.

http://cda.morris.umn.edu/~sadd/laws.html

"Unless you change direction, you are likely to end up where you are headed."
-Chinese proverb

Re: Alcohol

I had not heard.  Sad it is!  I'm also sickened, and I wonder if that'll sober him up.  He probably wishes it was him instead unless he's a complete sociopath.

I can only pray that some good will come of it.  My prayers are with them all...I'll quit now before I ...

Jeff

Rock On & Keep the FAITH
             It is
Blues From the Bottoms

Re: Alcohol

There are a few horrific stories on this thread that would be hard to imagine occurring here in Holland. I think the two major factors that make the US different from many other countries are these:

There seems to be a custom, or tradition (almost) in the US that you drive to a bar, get tanked, then drive home. Distances are much smaller over here and many people are able to visit their local drinking hole on foot (or even by bicycle).

The other big factor, in my opinion, is the availability of public transport to get you where you want to go, and also to get you back again.

(To be clear, I am in no way excusing the fact that drunks drive and kill people!)

The Dutch launched a very successful campaign about 10 years ago - whenever two or more people go out by car with the intention of drinking, one person should be designated as 'Bob'. smile

The 'Bob' agrees to stay sober and get everyone else home safely. The campaign has been such a success that the 'Bob' is now part of the language and can be found in the dictionary!

"Ok, who's the Bob tonight?"

"I was Bob last time, it's your turn!"

I don't know what the stats are on alcohol-related road deaths here, but I do know that there are relatively few. Whenever anything remotely as shocking as the events reported here occurs, it's national tv news for days.

RIP Iron Man

Rock On and keep the Faith

Re: Alcohol

Hi Cathy- hadn't heard this, but did hear this today about the former Yankee that killed a waitress, mother of three, on her way home from work.   http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,319055,00.html

karla-that's an interesting link...(sidenote-you're neighbors with some of my family in Stuart)

I know this is such a downer subject and I wasn't going to revisit this topic, but if anyone has youngsters who would benefit from some of the pain and sorrow going around in my town, the kids started a facebook group against drunk driving.  E-mail me if interested. On the eve of the funeral of the student that was killed another senior was killed as a passenger in a car (no drinking involved with the students), hit by a supposed drunk driver, head on, when the driver crossed onto the wrong side of the road.  This student was at the funeral hours before. The 30 year old driver had multiple driving offenses, suspended liscense etc. The driver of the car that was hit is a college freshman, has multiple problems...and is still in the hospital along with the passenger in the first accident I mentioned.  To say the least the kids are really freaked out by all this and there even is a sense of eerieness...both victims names started with an "E" and were four letters and the 2 passengers that are hospitalized both are named Tom...just a bizarre coincidence, but added an additional edge...I could just cry buckets for all the parents, its just horrific!  As far as my kids, we've established, anytime, anyplace, no matter what, we will pick them up and they don't have to spill the beans about anyone...kids hate to tell on others and if it helps get them out of a bad situation, so be it...  The blood alcohol tests came back on the first accident, the kid is in big trouble & the charges were upped, forgiven or not....sad for all involved...everyone lost...

On a positive note, over the holidays I saw many of my nieces and nephews, some who are drinking underage, BUT all have built in designated driver systems, if they do go out in cars.  Sometimes, they roll a dice or have a rotating system.  Like Cathy mentioned before, the designated driver has to be set up in advance, you can't reason with a drunk!!

cathysiler wrote:

I don't know if it's been on the news in your area, but a drunk in Ohio drove his pick-up onto the interstate the wrong way and slammed into a mini-van head on. He lived but he killed 5 people..2 of them were the children of a local man who were visiting their mother and stepfamily..They were 7 and 8 years old. Their mother also died....Sad..and people even tried to stop this guy! It always matters, not just at Holidays...   Cathy

StringsforaCURE~Helping cancer patients one STRING at a time.
http://stringsforacure.com/

Re: Alcohol

Yes it always matters, and George is right about the accepted custom. 

Oh by the way I'm always "Bob", if anyone needs me...no questions asked.

Kids, bandmates, friends, family and now bonnabuddies.  It's all I can do sometimes.

Just give me the keys.

Rock On & Keep the FAITH
             It is
Blues From the Bottoms

Re: Alcohol

Yeah, i agree with most of you all.  Driving drunk is just a stupid desicion.  No one can just drink and be good with the night, everyone has to overdo it all the time, especially on campus's,  now im a college student and yes I drink, a lot sometimes, but I still make good decisions and know my limits.  I think part of it has to do with the drinking age, when kids are told not to do something there gonna go do it, if you introduce alcohol at home (like a beer or glass of wine at dinner) like many other western countries do, then you eliminate the curiosity and therefore will lead to less binging. But thats very unfortunate to hear about that happening to your neighbor.  Just my two cents.
Peace,
Conner

Fender '62 reissue Stratocaster, 2001 Gibson Les Paul Studio(Stock), Marshall JCM900 100W Head, Original 1972 Carvin 4/12 Cabinet,Ibanez Ts9 Reissue, Keeley Compressor, Boss DD-3 Delay, Vox Wah