• From: BEAVER PA
  • Registered: 2006-04-22
  • Posts: 179

Topic: THE BUCKET LIST

First off I want to say that this subject title is not 100% about what I want to say here. Since I have seen that John Mayer himself has been given too much attention here already lately, I thought I would "tip toe through the tulips" and tie a few things together here. Ok here goes... My grandmother passed away yesterday. She suffered for about two weeks and is in a much better place now. Anyways I recently saw the movie "The Bucket List". It really puts life into perspective. What compelled me to write this post was the song "Say" by JM from the movies sountrack. My parents and I have nothing but love for one another, yet only a handful of times in my 41 years have I actually said to them "I LOVE YOU" and if I did it was hardly ever said back, i was just hugged a little tighter. Neither one has ever said it to me first. It seems as though it is just something that was to be taken for granted for lack of a better explanation. So yesterday when i saw my mom for the first time since her mothers passing we hugged and I told her I loved her and when she said it back it was one of the most emotional moments of my life.
  SO SAY WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY !!!    Darrin

Tell me about the car i saw parked outside your door ? Tell me what you left me waiting two or three hours for ? Tell me why when the phone rings, baby, your up and across the floor ? Please dont keep me wondering no more.....
  • From: Deep in the forest
  • Registered: 2007-02-11
  • Posts: 5,296

Re: THE BUCKET LIST

I'm sorry for your loss Darrin. What a beautiful perspective. I'm sure those words will stay in your Mom's mind. And you're right, people have a hard time saying those simple words. At the same time, showing love is just as important.

I loved that movie. I expected I would be sad, but there was something uplifting about it. I'm sure years of Hospice nursing have tinted my view, but a death accompanied by peace of mind and shared love sounds good to me.

So, don't forget to continue to spread the love..it will come back to you three fold. Now put on "Asking Around.." and have some good Granny memories.         Cathy

  • Libby
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  • From: Sunny Southern California
  • Registered: 2008-02-14
  • Posts: 1,551

Re: THE BUCKET LIST

This what I need to say Darrin......

I'm sorry for your loss.  I'm sorry that it's been difficult for you and your family to verbalize your feelings.  I'm glad that changed for you yesterday and I hope, for all of your sakes, that you can continue along that path.  I'm sending you a big hug from the West Coast and reminding you that you ARE, INDEED, loved. 


smile  Libby  smile

I know that Joe could play one of those kid's guitars with the plastic strings and make it sound good-
Bill S.
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  • From: Pittsburgh
  • Registered: 2007-09-13
  • Posts: 509

Re: THE BUCKET LIST

I'm really sorry to hear about your grandmother's passing, Darrin.  You have my sympathies.....

That's extremely good advice you just gave.....even though "I love you" is often understood without saying, it's never quite as powerful as the words themselves.  Everyone needs to hear them.....

And, as to the "Bucket List" theme, lemme just say that I think that is equally important, especially for one's sanity.  Live life to the fullest, do things that make you happy, and quit worryin' so damn much.  It's amazing how good things look when you're happy.....

Take care buddy.....

They're at home still runnin' for bells
Better San Juan
Than that blue collar hell
  • From: Indy area
  • Registered: 2006-06-20
  • Posts: 245

Re: THE BUCKET LIST

Dear Darrin, I'm so sorry for your loss.  My sympathies to you and your family. 

Why is it that those 3 little words are so very hard for some people to say?  Do they hold too much meaning, too much responsibility?  I don't know.  Yet each time they're spoken, they don't lose their value.   Yes, there are ways to show love, but there isn't anything better than sharing those words of love with someone, even if it makes them uncomfortable, or hearing those words spoken to you.  It's ok if you have to say it first.  Just say it.  Some day you might be surprised when that sentiment is returned to you...first.

Great musicians have a language & vocabulary that transcends the usual barriers & touches us on a more primitive , basic & yet complex level....

...I'll always have London in my heart, and in my soul...
  • From: Amsterdam
  • Registered: 2007-10-06
  • Posts: 5,249

Re: THE BUCKET LIST

I'm sorry for your loss Darrin, please accept my sympathies.

I couldn't agree more about the importance of those three words and I remember the difficulty of using them with parents (both of mine are dead). Never be shy to tell your loved ones how you feel about them because you never know when one of them might suddenly disappear!!

RIP Iron Man

Rock On and keep the Faith
  • From: Edgewater, FL
  • Registered: 2007-12-08
  • Posts: 5,046

Re: THE BUCKET LIST

Wow...my sincerest condolences...and my congratulations.

anothermilestonereached
anothersteptowardfreedom

Rock On & Keep the FAITH
             It is
Blues From the Bottoms

bigjeffjones's Website

  • From: Was NY now FL/GA line
  • Registered: 2007-12-16
  • Posts: 2,855

Re: THE BUCKET LIST

darrflo wrote:

First off I want to say that this subject title is not 100% about what I want to say here. Since I have seen that John Mayer himself has been given too much attention here already lately, I thought I would "tip toe through the tulips" and tie a few things together here. Ok here goes... My grandmother passed away yesterday. She suffered for about two weeks and is in a much better place now. Anyways I recently saw the movie "The Bucket List". It really puts life into perspective. What compelled me to write this post was the song "Say" by JM from the movies sountrack. My parents and I have nothing but love for one another, yet only a handful of times in my 41 years have I actually said to them "I LOVE YOU" and if I did it was hardly ever said back, i was just hugged a little tighter. Neither one has ever said it to me first. It seems as though it is just something that was to be taken for granted for lack of a better explanation. So yesterday when i saw my mom for the first time since her mothers passing we hugged and I told her I loved her and when she said it back it was one of the most emotional moments of my life.
  SO SAY WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY !!!    Darrin

First let me offer my condolances to you and your family.

I know and I hear what your saying. As I've said in another thread it all can change in a blink of an eye. I never leave the house or let my wife leave without telling her I love her. My parents live in different parts of the country so I don't get to see them as much as I would like but we do talk often. Every call is ended with I love you. Even with my dad. Now my sons are learning that you need to make each moment count. They're not immune to lifes crisis. I tell my two boys that I love them but I get the "yeah dad" back. They're learning.

Thanks for this thread Darrin.

  • From: Pittsburgh, PA
  • Registered: 2006-04-24
  • Posts: 302

Re: THE BUCKET LIST

Hey Darrin.  I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your grandmother.  Please allow yourself plenty of time to grieve and remember that she will always be with you in your heart and soul!!  As you get older you come to realize that life is way to short not to tell the people who are important to you exactly how you feel about them.  So, congratulations on finally expressing your feelings to your mom.  Thanks for sharing your life's journey with us.  Sending you a big huge forum hug!!!  Hope to see you next week at the Pittsburgh's Blues Fest.  Take care my friend. 

                                                          Barbara  wink

  • From: Edgewater, FL
  • Registered: 2007-12-08
  • Posts: 5,046

Re: THE BUCKET LIST

Last night my 16 year old son called from his running camp up in the mountains.  It was late and his mother was already asleep.  After a short chat, he said, "Gotta go Dad.  There's a prank war on..." 
"Ok, you practical jokers don't get into trouble."
"No sir.  Love you, Dad"
"Love you. thanks for calling home."

My father told me years back, as the cancer was eating him up that he loved me and was proud of me.  Years of alcoholism, sin, sickness and resentment were wiped clean in seconds.

I'm learning too.  Progress is good.

Rock On & Keep the FAITH
             It is
Blues From the Bottoms

bigjeffjones's Website

  • From: Cleveland
  • Registered: 2007-05-08
  • Posts: 272

Re: THE BUCKET LIST

Darrin, I am so sorry for your loss.  It leaves us with an empty place that is hard to fill, but it sounds like the simple act of sharing an 'I love you' with your mom and getting to hear her say it back started the process.
My parents were the same way......I always said that I would be different with my children.   We tell each other 'I love you' every time we speak, and I hug and kiss them every time we part to go our seperate ways.  You just never know what can happen in life.  That movie was a good reminder.

  • From: Indianola, IA
  • Registered: 2006-07-26
  • Posts: 4,429

Re: THE BUCKET LIST

Dear Darrin,
      I sending you my thoughts, prayers, and love in your grandmother's transition.  It seems that our grandparents always have something wise to leave us......and I would like to think that your grandma was beaming with joy when she was watching you and your mom.  It's a beautiful thing you've shared with us ? and a reminder that all we really have in life is this very second in time.....the past is gone....the future hasn't come yet.....all you need is love.
                                                                                           
                                                                      Blessing to You,  Patty

"I'm not nice to any guitar!"      lol
                 Joe Bonamassa 05-03-12

JBLP CHILD #184
  • From: BEAVER PA
  • Registered: 2006-04-22
  • Posts: 179

Re: THE BUCKET LIST

Thanks everybody. Your kindness is appreciated. Whether I have personally met you or just had a couple of email contacts or simply only have read your posts....I LOVE YOU ALL....because after all you guys are a part of my family too.   Darrin

Tell me about the car i saw parked outside your door ? Tell me what you left me waiting two or three hours for ? Tell me why when the phone rings, baby, your up and across the floor ? Please dont keep me wondering no more.....
  • Registered: 2007-01-29
  • Posts: 569

Re: THE BUCKET LIST

So sorry for your loss Darrin. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Mary

LOL-ler-tastic.
  • From: Crystal Lake, Il.
  • Registered: 2006-04-22
  • Posts: 5,120

Re: THE BUCKET LIST

Darrin,
I'm so sorry for your loss, but it appears that you are coping in a positive way.
I also wanted to thank you for putting things in perspective. It's too bad that the human race quite often needs some kind of a jolt to remind us of what's important.
Then that jolt wears off and we get caught back up in day to day life. We need a reminder periodically.

"Rock ON & Keep the Faith"
  • Registered: 2008-04-02
  • Posts: 671

Re: THE BUCKET LIST

Darrin,
  So sorry to hear the news of your grandmothers passing. The only grandparent I truly knew was my mothers mom. She died in 1986 and was more of a mother to me than my own mother and I miss her to this day.

You will find the strength,
Jack

Rock On and Keep the Faith

Jack Loves Patty Loves Joe

17 Reply by gsj

  • gsj
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  • From: North Essex, England
  • Registered: 2006-09-21
  • Posts: 2,149

Re: THE BUCKET LIST

Darrin, sorry to hear your news. All things must pass my friend, except for the love that remains.

I found myself leaving the house one morning recently to get into my car and drive to work. A voice inside me (I know who's smile ) said go back into the house, tell your wife that you love her and then you can go to work. I do that everyday, just in case .......

Never be afraid to tell someone that you love them. It'll make them, and you, feel good.

Geoff

never give up, never slow down
never grow old, never ever die young
  • Libby
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  • Registered: 2008-02-14
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Re: THE BUCKET LIST

See Darrin?  I TOLD YOU you were LOVED!!!  Look at that big ol' outpouring of affection from your Forum Family!!!  Indeed, you are a part of us, and we of you.  Love you Darrin.


smile  Libby  smile

I know that Joe could play one of those kid's guitars with the plastic strings and make it sound good-
Bill S.