Those irritating but sometimes hilarious Nigerian email scams (Page 2 of 2)

They've really pulled out all the stops with this one, including the caps lock.

DIRECTOR OF FOREIGN PAYMENT BUREAU.
UNITED NATION EMISSARY.
TELEPHONE:234-80-720-96955.

COMPLIMENT OF THE DAY,

WITH REFERENCE TO THE NEW FEDERAL GOVERNMENT POLICY TOWARDS THE
RECONCILIATION AND IMMEDIATE PAYMENT OF ALL OVERDUE DEBTS OWED BY THE NIGERIAN GOVERNMENT TO HER FOREIGN INVESTORS; BE OFFICIALLY INFORMED THAT WE HAVE VERIFIED YOUR PAYMENT FILE AND HAVE CONSEQUENTLY FIND OUT THAT WHY YOU HAVE NOT RECEIVED YOUR OVERDUE INHERITANCE PAYMENT IS BECAUSE YOU ARE DEALING WITH IMPOSTERS IN VARIOUS COMMERCIAL BANKS IN NIGERIA,HEREBY BEING FRUSTATED BY SEVERAL EXTORTION OF ILLEGITIMATE FEES AND CHARGES.

SECONDLY, WE HAVE BEEN DULY INFORMED BY THE FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE THAT YOUR LOCAL REPRESENTATIVES ARE CONIVING WITH THESE FAKE BANK OFFICIALS TO CHANGE YOUR ACCOUNT AND TRANSFER YOUR PAYMENT TO A STRANGE ACCOUNT IN CANADA. THE NEW BENEFICIARY IS PURPORTED TO BE YOUR COUSIN. HIS DETAILS ARE LISTED BELOW:

MR. ANDREW FRANCIS SVENKESON
ADD: 425 VELDE STREET,
CREVE CEOUR, IL 61610
NATIONALITY: AMERICAN
ZIP: 61610
AGE: 54YRS
MARITAL STATUS: DIVORCED.
PROFESSION: RETIRED REALTOR BROKER.
BANK DETAILS:
SCOTIA BANK
314 HARWOOD AVE. S UNIT
HPO5 AJAX, ONT. L1S 2JI,
CANADA.
ACCOUNT NUMBER: 321020072923
AACCOUNT NAME: ANDREW FRANCIS SVENKESON

PLEASE YOU ARE ADVISED TO RECONFIRM THE BELOW INFORMATION PROMPTLY, AND CLARIFY TO US THAT YOU HAVE AUTHORIZED THE ABOVE SAID PERSON TO CLAIM YOUR FUNDS, AND YOU WILL HAVE TO GIVE A POWER OF ATTORNEY TO US TO RELEASE THIS PAYMENT TO HIM THROUGH OUR PAYING BANK(CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA).

THE SERIOUSNESS OF CORRUPTION AMONGST THE OFFICIALS OF MOST COMMERCIAL BANKS IN NIGERIA IS AT ITS CLIMAX, HENCE THE PRESIDENT OF THE FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA, ALHAJI UMARU YARA'DUA (GCFR) IN CONJUNCTION WITH THE DELEGATED OFFICIALS OF THE UNITED NATIONS HAS MANDATED THE NIGERIA APEX BANK "CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA" TO PAY A PART PAYMENT OF US$6.5 MILLION IN FAVOUR OF FILE#: CBN/ATM/CBX/021/07, FROM YOUR OVERDUE OUTSTANDING FUNDS.

THE CBN WILL SEND YOU ATM DIGITAL CARD WHICH YOU WILL USE TO WITHDRAW YOUR MONEY IN ANY ATM MACHINE IN ANY PART OF THE WORLD, WITH MAXIMUM WITHDRAWAL OF $1,500 DAILY. SO IF YOU WILL LIKE TO RECEIVE YOUR FUNDS VIA THIS CONVENIENT AND SECURED WAY,YOU ARE ADVICE TO GET BACK TO US ON THIS MATTER AS SOON AS POSSIBLE,BECAUSE WITHOUT YOUR CLARIFICATION THIS PAYMENT WILL NOT BE RELEASED TO THE ABOVE BENEFICIARY CLAIMING THIS FUND ON YOUR NAME.

HOWEVER, WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE DELAY IN RE-ORGANIZING THESE SYSTEMS, AND EQUALLY THE INCONVENIENCES THIS DELAY MIGHT HAVE CAUSED YOU AND YOUR COMPANY IN THE VERY RECENT TIMES BEFORE THIS MATTER CAME UP,OUR VISION IS TO ENCOURAGE FOREIGN INVESTORS BY CREATING SUITABLE AND ENABLING ENVIROMENT FOR INVESTMENT WITHIN THE SHORES OF AFRICA GENERALLY.

MORE IMPORTANTLY, IF THIS CLAIM IS NOT APPROVED BY YOU,DO COMPLETE AND SEND THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION TO CONFIRM AND UPDATE TO THIS OFFICE THAT YOU DID NOT PERMITTED THE SAID BENEFICIARY TO CLAIM THIS FUNDS AND THE BELOW INFORMATION REQUESTED FROM YOU WILL ENABLE US TO FILE YOUR INFORMATIONS TO THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA,IN ORDER TO FACILITATE YOUR PAYMENT VIA ATM DEBIT CARD.

1) CONFIRM YOUR FULL NAME.
2) CONFIRM YOUR CURRENT ADDRESS.
3) CONFIRM YOUR PHONE,FAX AND MOBILE PHONE NUMBERS.
4) CONFIRM YOUR PROFESSION, AGE & MARITAL STATUS.
5) CONFIRM NATIONALITY.
6) A SCAN COPY OF YOUR ID.

(THE ABOVE INFORMATIONS ARE NEEDED TO AVOID COMPLICATION AS REGARD TO THIS PAYMENT ARRANGEMENT)

YOU ARE WARNED, IN YOUR OWN INTEREST; STOP FURTHER COMMUNICATION WITH ANY INSTITUTION, OFFICES OR PERSONS CLAIMING TO HAVE RELEVANT TO THE PAYMENT OF YOUR OVERDUE FUNDS OUT-SIDE THE CBN.

NOTE: TO AVOID MISAPPROPRIATION AND IMPERSONATION, YOU ARE HEREBY
ADVICE TO REACH US STRICTLY TO AVOID AN INTRA-CASES WHILE WORKING ON
YOUR PAYMENT,AND ALSO DISENGAGED FROM ANY INFORMATION YOU MIGHT
RECEIVED FROM ANY COMMERCIAL BANKS HERE IN NIGERIA REGARDING YOUR PAYMENT ARRANGEMENT,SO THAT YOU WILL NOT BE A VICTIM TO THEIR FRAUDULENT ACT.

CONGRATULATIONS!!

BEST REGARDS,

SENATOR. FRED GEORGE.
DIRECTOR OF FOREIGN PAYMENT BUREAU.
UNITED NATION EMISSARY.
TELEPHONE:234-80-72-096955.

A true classic of the genre, rolling on the floor stuff.

Friend

Compliment of the day,

I am Mr Sabo Mustapha director of operation federal ministry of mines
of the federal republic of Nigeria My reason of sending this mail to you
is to request you to stand as the original contractor and receive this
fund USD$30MILLION on my behalf.

Mr. Parkins Salim an American national and a contractor with the
FEDERAL MINISTRY OF MINES who unfortunately lost his life and family in the
Indian Earthquake. Have executed contract with our ministry whose
contract sum have been approved and the forex allocation for the fund have
also been issued ,but unfortunately for him his death has have caused him
not to receive the fund and if the fund still remain unclaimed the
fund will be returned to the federal government as unclaimed contract sum
which I will not prefer

My reason of seeking for your assistance is as follows

Mr Salim is a foreign contractor and due to the new directive by the
federal government that contractors should be paid directly not unlike
before when the ministry receive the allocation and pays the contractor.

You being a foreigner will be presented as a person whom Mr Salim have
transferred the ownership of the contract to[I will provide all
necessary document to back it up]

Meanwhile the fund is presently in the Standard Trust Bank Plc,

All relevant document relating to the contract that will enable the
remittance of the fund into your nominated account will be provided on
demand ..

The deal therefore must be confidential,and i assure you of it's 100%
risk free, but requires only your co-operation. You will receive 30% of
the total sum, 10% will be for expenses incidental to the remittance,
while the balance of 60% will be for me.

The Standard Trust Bank plc in compliance with Parliamentary directive
has expressed readiness to release the fund via payment advice. All
modalities for the transfer have been worked out and once started, it will
not take time with absolute support of all concerned.

I shall need your full name as the director of the company,
telephone/Fax number for easier communication. Finally i wish to inform you that i
will be going for my retirement very soon, so l need this money to
invest in viable project in your country or it environ. You shall arrange
for us to meet immediately the transfer of the money is made to you. l
am waiting for your urgent response.

My Regards

- SABO MUSTAPHA