The Weather! (Page 2 of 6)

Oh MY!

Well, for goodness sakes Jeff, get them out!!!! What are you feeding them to? Gators? You Floridians and your pets!    Cathy         Storms coming tonight..Thanks Roy.....

Cathy,

Those have to be two of the funniest lines I've ever seen - no matter your intentions.  I can certainly relate if you wrote them without thinking.....personally, my mouth has changed shape throughout the years.  After repeated insertions of my foot, it is now a perfect fit.

Still laughing.  Thank you.

  Libby 

Thanks Roy, it's really raining here.  I have an outdoor show this weekend.  What was I talking about?  Oh yeah...

One 99 degree day in August of 03, maybe 04, a guy rides up in his little red wussy car and hollers at me in this brutal yankee accent.  I look up from my landscaping (notinmyspeedo) and sho nuff, Connecticut plates.  Yassuh? I says.  This carpet bagger starts asking me about property and values etc.

So I scratch my head and say in my blackest, most southern mumble that won't be no building back there, its uh wild eschooary.  Nervously he asks about coons and possums.  They won't cross the canal I says, but the wild pigs will once in a while...HOWS THAT? he stutters...

...But the gators prefer dogs and children to them old nasty tick covered, hawgs.  That's how they get by, when the gators get fat on some younguns or a hound dog.

Canal????... by now he's looking nervous and he stammers GATORS?  Yeah but they ain't no problem if you watch out for 'em.  NOSIR, they're not the problem, I drawls.  What is? he demands to know.

SKEETERS!  biggest ol' dam skeeters you ever saw.  They killed ol widder jenkins poodle week befo last,  Drained him right on the porch.  He was plumb flakey when the ol' woman got home..dint even stink!  Dried up like a raisin...

Took two good thunder showers before his peel-out faded from the pavement.  I never saw him again.

In between public relations seminars I watch the birds.  Getting old and mellow.

prettybirds
bluejaystoo.

We are right on the heavy snow/heavy sleet line. Looks like the sleet is winning. Be safe on the roads and walkways.

Sounds like a new Jack-In-The-Box ad campaign for their BBQ Chicken sandwich...

Oh my God, Jeff - what a story! Need to tell you something about your "southern mumble"... When you start to learn English, there´s diffrent phases of understanding:

1. You understand your English-teacher, who has a German accent anyway
2. You understand the people on the "Learning English"-CD who speak perfect "Oxfooord English"
3. You understand the British
4. You understand the ones with the London-accent (you stay away from those who live in the Liverpool area!)
5. You think you can understand English quite well, but then an American comes your way.
6. You learn to understand the Americans (and the Canadians) too.
7. You think you can now understand every human being that talks English (even the Indian people).

8. Then one of these Southern Americans comes your way and mumbles something - and you just give up, because it STILL sounds like Chinese to you!

Eva

P.s.: Sorry for being so waaaay of topic this time!

Damn thats funny Jeff!....I've  messed with a few peeps over the years....one guy got me and my brother good in Oklahoma a few years back...there was an F-5 tornado coming at us outside of Oklahoma City...were 2 Cali. guys whos truck just had a tranny burn up...so this guy was fixing the truck...we hear the tornado warning on the radio in his shop...I ask the man what to do if it comes right at us..."Well, ya see dat dare dich oer thar, yall gonna have ta lye down in dare...look out fer the snakes too!"...dude had a smile cracked the entire time...I know he's still telling that story to his buddys in the bar....I'm a mailman...so when  a Fed Ex or UPS driver pulls up and ask me directions...I tell him go straight 5 miles he cant miss it!...that is unless it's an attractive woman...then I go into my..."why sure I can help you, but your gonna have to meet me for lunch later today"...lol...aint never worked yet, but  it's all good 

Dave