• From: City of Champions
  • Registered: 2006-04-21
  • Posts: 734

Topic: Stressin and have to vent

As a few of you know my wife has been real sick for a month now. She's been diagnosed with an over active thyroid. They finally got some test results back yesterday and confirmed there is no cancer, not on her thyroid anyway. Well there seems to be a growth on a nodule that they're concerned with. This past month I' ve had to run the household while she's sick. You know the usual stuff, walk the dog several times a day since we have no yard. Cook all the meals, no problem I've been a chef for 30 years. Do the dishes, laundry, sweeper needs run, dust. It never ends. Do the banking, shopping...
   I don't complain at all. I've had it made for the past 25 years of marriage. I never realized how much she does everyday. Day in day out. Well today it's getting to me and I lost my cool and flipped out. I wanted an hour to myself to go next door to visit a friend.
NEXT DOOR. 50 feet away. She starts crying, doesn't want to be alone. So here I am on the computer while she sleeps.  At least she's not alone.  Sorry just had to let it out.   Thanks for listening.

Take care everyone. And if I don't meet you no more in this world
Then ill, I'll meet you in the next one and don't be late, don't be late

Pittsburgh Jeff's Website

  • From: Indianola, IA
  • Registered: 2006-07-26
  • Posts: 4,429

Re: Stressin and have to vent

Hey Jeff,
     It's okay to let it out, that's what we're here for.  I commend you for doing everything and also for recognizing how much your wife does on a daily basis.  Hang in there, watch some Joe videos...can your friend come over instead?  Or can you invite someone over to hang with your wife for a little while, so you can step out and get a breath of fresh air?  Just trying to think of some options.  You have already probably thought of them all.  I'm sorry.  Thanks for being such a great husband to your ? wife.  I'll keep you guys in my prayers.
                                                                           Patty

"I'm not nice to any guitar!"      lol
                 Joe Bonamassa 05-03-12

JBLP CHILD #184
  • From: Naperville IL
  • Registered: 2007-05-23
  • Posts: 504

Re: Stressin and have to vent

Hang in there Jeff,You are doing one hell of a job. You have been doing this for a month, i have flipped out after a couple of days of taking care of one of my loved ones, You are the MAN!!!!
My prayers are with you and your wife.
Jon

  • gsj
  • gsj
  • BONAMETAL
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  • From: North Essex, England
  • Registered: 2006-09-21
  • Posts: 2,149

Re: Stressin and have to vent

Jeff, my thoughts are with you and your wife. Roy's advice sounds about right to me. You'll both get through this, you obviously have the love to do it.

never give up, never slow down
never grow old, never ever die young
  • From: Boston
  • Registered: 2007-01-13
  • Posts: 415

Re: Stressin and have to vent

Hey Jeff
   Your a stand up husband and friend. If good things happen to good people
your problems will be short lived.   God Bless your in my thoughts
                                                                                                                                                                                                              Paul

  • From: City of Champions
  • Registered: 2006-04-21
  • Posts: 734

Re: Stressin and have to vent

Thanks all for your thoughts and prayers, It means so much to me, really does.  This forum and Joes fans are so unique, you know. I feel so close to each and everyone of you yet we have never met.  Truly amazing group of people here.
    And when I say I've had it made for 25 years, here's a lady who has woke me everyday with a cup of coffee at my bedside. I can count on one hand when I had to make my morning coffee. She truly loves me unconditionaly and the feeling is mutual. As far as having anyone come over, Are you kidding me. No make up, hair not done, she just doesn't want anyone here while she's sick.   Sitting in nuclear medicine the past few days seeing all the cancer patients losing their hair it really hit home.  I'm trying so hard to remian strong and not show her how scared I really am.   Again, THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!

Take care everyone. And if I don't meet you no more in this world
Then ill, I'll meet you in the next one and don't be late, don't be late

Pittsburgh Jeff's Website

  • Registered: 2006-12-28
  • Posts: 3,742

Re: Stressin and have to vent

Jeff....man, you know I'm feeling for you.....good news that theres no cancer on the thyroid, Deb and have been saying some big time prayers for you guys....when I told Deb about your email, I bout lost it.....staying strong, that is so damn tough....hey dont worry about shedding a few tears...that actually has helped both of us in the last few months....we found we were trying both be strong for each other, when we finally let loose together....it was the most emotional time of our 29 year marriage....and in our case we are still uncertain if things are going to be ok...C.A.T. scans at the of the month...but anyhow please keep us posted on your wifes progress...hope the Doctors find and fix it quick...you know an email anytime to me is going to get priority...if there is anything else you need, just say so buddy...you have been one of the kindest people I've met on the forum...I'm sure you got that from your wife....lol...well thats were my good side came from anyways....I think us men take our ladies for granted at times....but when the times get very tough, they see that we really are flesh and blood and do care for them more than we can put into any words...you know what?...this is my "bonametal" moment on the forum...and I could never be more proud than to share it with my thought and prayers for you guys.

                                              God Bless

  • From: Netherlands.
  • Registered: 2006-04-27
  • Posts: 2,186

Re: Stressin and have to vent

hallo Jeff,

Just read your post this morning and realize how lucky I am. Me, my wife and kids are healthy, the wintersun is shining, my daughter is horse-riding, my wife reading a book, my son playing a soccergame on the computer, Sloe Gin on the stereo and a good coffee.

Very peaceful here. Now my friend I wish you both the same again as soon as possible. You both go through very tough times and I wish you the best and a lot of strenght!
But if I may give you one advice: Think about yourself too, keep one thing for yourself, do something nice with your friend or for yourself.
You must load the battery sometimes, if you loose your energy that wouldn't be good for you and your wife!

Wish you a nice Sunday and we're all here for you.

A big huge,

Andre Wittebroek.

  • From: Pittsburgh, PA
  • Registered: 2006-04-24
  • Posts: 302

Re: Stressin and have to vent

Hi Jeff.  Sorry to hear your wife is not well.   I am sure she appreciates everything you are doing.  Sounds like a lot of work and a heavy load for you to carry. So, you must talk to your friends for support to let your stress out.  If you can't get out to see a friend pick up the phone to call one or you know we are ALWAYS here for you on the board.  Hang in there.  You and your wife are in my thoughts and prayers.  Take care.

                              Barbara......

  • Geko
  • Geko
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  • Registered: 2006-12-08
  • Posts: 838

Re: Stressin and have to vent

Hi Jeff Sorry for you and your wife´s situation ....i have respect of what you doing stay strong

all helth to your wife


Geko

  • Jaci
  • Titanium
  • Offline
  • Registered: 2007-04-09
  • Posts: 697

Re: Stressin and have to vent

HI Jeff - You are doing a fantastic job pitching in - but take some time out for yourself
or you will overload on stress.  Your wife is probably scared and doesn't want to be
alone.  My cousin had a similar situation with her thyroid and she was scared silly.
Things will get better and remember you can always scream at us when you need to !
Jaci

Lose your dreams and you will lose your mind.  Mick Jagger
  • From: Edgewater, FL
  • Registered: 2007-12-08
  • Posts: 5,046

Re: Stressin and have to vent

Jeff,
The only time in the last 25 years I have ever felt inadequate is when Ms.Tia got real sick once.  It wasn't about the chores etc.  (I was a batchelor from age 16 to 32.)  It was about being unable to fix it.  Hush, Cathy. smile  There was nothing I could do.

I couldn't carry that weight by myself.  I called on a greater power than me for strength.
That worked.  That strength came from love.  So I grew a little more.

This too shall pass. 

Much Love,
Jeff

Rock On & Keep the FAITH
             It is
Blues From the Bottoms

bigjeffjones's Website

  • Registered: 2007-01-29
  • Posts: 569

Re: Stressin and have to vent

Jeff, I'm really sorry to hear about your wife. You and she are in my prayers. I know how much you love her and I'm amazed at how much you've done for her. Take some time off, you deserve it. You need some Bonamassatherapy. smile

Mary

LOL-ler-tastic.
  • From: Wheeling, IL
  • Registered: 2006-12-07
  • Posts: 618

Re: Stressin and have to vent

Jeff, I know how much an illness in the family can put a strain on you. I wish you well and just want to say to remember it will be over at some point and things will get back to normal. At least you and your wife don't have to go through a cancer treatment. My sister had a nodule on her thyroid, had it removed and is now perfectly normal, albeit with medication.

Have you thought about getting some outside help for the housework? Maybe there's a local teen who'd be willing to come in and clean once a week. Also remember that dust and clutter never killed anyone. At least it hasn't killed me. big_smile

I'm just saying.
  • From: City of Champions
  • Registered: 2006-04-21
  • Posts: 734

Re: Stressin and have to vent

Thanks all for your well wishes and prayers.  Hey Nancy if you don't mind me asking more about your sister and her thyroid problem. Was hers over active? And was she weak, lots of weight loss, can't concentrate, hot cold flashes. and how long before she was better?  Diane started meds on Friday and we were both hoping for a miracle cure but I knew it would take some time. I just wish I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. Not knowing how long till she's better is what's really killing us both.   Thanks so much.

Take care everyone. And if I don't meet you no more in this world
Then ill, I'll meet you in the next one and don't be late, don't be late

Pittsburgh Jeff's Website

  • susan
  • susan
  • BONAMETAL
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  • From: Lake Mary, FL/USA
  • Registered: 2006-11-08
  • Posts: 1,079

Re: Stressin and have to vent

Hi Jeff,
I'm very sorry to hear that your wife is ill.  I had a friend that went thru something similiar with her thyroid and it was a scary time.  I don't remember all the details, but she was eventually placed on the proper medication and she got thru it.  Now, she's fine.

I wish your wife a speedy recovery.  Meanwhile, I know it's tough on both of you.   Keep us posted and let us know how things are going.  We'll all be thinking about you and just know that someone is always here when you need a little support.

Hang in there,

Susan  smile

"Listen to the melody cause my love is in there hiding"
  • gary
  • BONAMETAL
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  • From: Palatine Illinois by Chicago
  • Registered: 2006-08-25
  • Posts: 4,767

Re: Stressin and have to vent

Jeff I had no idea you were going through something like this.I dont know if I can add to anything else said earlier,but my praryers go out to your wife.It sounds like you are doing everything you can for her,but try to keep your own sanity too. You too are shouldering alot of major stress.Try to find some way for both of you to get a lttle mental break.I think some of the other suggestions are good.take care keep us posted on any good news,I know it will come .

Your rock candy baby
Your hard sweet and sticky

gary's Website

  • From: Wheeling, IL
  • Registered: 2006-12-07
  • Posts: 618

Re: Stressin and have to vent

Pittsburgh Jeff wrote:

Thanks all for your well wishes and prayers.  Hey Nancy if you don't mind me asking more about your sister and her thyroid problem. Was hers over active? And was she weak, lots of weight loss, can't concentrate, hot cold flashes. and how long before she was better?  Diane started meds on Friday and we were both hoping for a miracle cure but I knew it would take some time. I just wish I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. Not knowing how long till she's better is what's really killing us both.   Thanks so much.

Honestly, I don't know much about her symptoms before she had surgery. She was diagnosed with Hashimoto's Disease. Being that it's a hypothyroid disease, I would assume she had all the classic symptoms. She had part of her thyroid removed and recovery was fairly quick (several months if I recall). Now she's on Synthyroid and doing very well. If you want to email me privately I can get more information for you.

I'm just saying.