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Joe Bonamassa Forum → Off Topics → Starship Bonamassa, Captain Roy and the UISTAPCO
Captain, I am so sad to hear the news. Sh*t happens! It is a reminder of how quickly things can head south. I will be wearing my pants at 1/2 mast to honor them. I'm certain there was some Sloe Gin injested prior to take off. Odds are our lost crew were a bit "lost" prior to the accident. I will be dispensing happy memory and good health pills to the crew today.....Lt.Cmd.G.
That was BRIILIANT! This is why I am proud to serve with this crew..You all know how to play...Lt. Cmd. G. ( Let's stay alert and not suffer any more casualties.)
The Final Countdown continues......
Joe minus 7 HOB/Chicago
Joe minus 8 Pitman Theater/Milwaukee
Joe minus 10 Three Clans Ballroom/Green Bay
Joe minus 11 Grand Theatre Artsblock/Wausau
ALL RIGHT, enough grieving over Klaatu amd Gort. As you can see from our above mission schedule, 2 more shows have been added to our intinerary. I was speaking to Joe, Bogie, Carmine and Rick (they said they were impressed by my leadership on the Starship Bonamassa, so I'm now allowed to call them by their first names) and their words were, "When you're on a roll, you're on a roll. So let's GO FOR IT." To that I say, "Say, say Two thousand zero, zero, party over, Oops, out of time! So tonight we're gonna party like it's 1999!"
Everyone sing and let's break out a couple of cases of "Sloe Gin"!! YAHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Captain Roy
Capitano
I have just finished the second case of Sloe Gin and can't feel my legs. Did I maybe misundershtand your order? The room is spinning and I think i'm entering a black hole just east of Lyra.
HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!
millhouse(1st Eng)
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhggggg
What was that jolt. Who replaced my tongue with a cat's ****. Get me some bloody mary grog to even the ship out. Never again will I have two cases of Sloe Gin no matter what you say Cap'n.
Ahoyhoy
millhouse(1st Eng)
A warm welcome to Lt Jon from down here on the poop deck! Anytime you are passing(wind) or whatever poop in and see the craziest 1st Engineer this side of Cygnus.
millhouse 
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
Attention all crew: As we enter the final countdown, it's time to prepare. First: ALL crew must schedule time in the detox/destink chamber. I think the recent problems with the Flush Drive have left us all ranking and not in a Starfleet manner. Joe and the band must also be returned to their pre-flight appearance. Lt. Jane is in charge of the band (is that safe?). I'll examine them after for any hickeys! Captain, I will be giving you Botox injects to stop the butt sweat..could offend the inhabitants of Blues/Rock..remember, it's a sign of agression on their planet. Pleasure meds in max doses will be administered prior to entering shuttles. Supplies of all will be sent to the planet's surface with the crew to insure our hosts know we mean business. Cases of Sloe Gin are ready for transport. Finally, I have re-awoken all staff from stasis. I hope security keeps track of the troublemakers (no names at this time). Keep the band's gear under lock and key..You know why...So let's all get spiffy and party on! Lt. Cmd. G......
Calling capt Roy >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Calling Capt Roy>>>>>>>>> Come in please>>>>>>>>
Reporting for duty CAPT, >>>>> So nice of you to ask me to board the BONAMASSA SPACESHIP. I have had a little trouble as you know. I had to switch from the Starshuttle corolla to the ASSAMANOB
Starshuttle.As you are aware of this is the shuttle that came out of the back poop deck from the BONAMASSA SPACESHIP.All i can tell you is this ship and its crew ( Ambassadors Bill and lee ) are in ship shape and is ready to Party at the planet BluesRock!!!!!!! It is with great pleasure to tell you that my 90 foot right arm has grown to 180 feet and with that we had no problem with scooping up Captain Zhurh.With that i must close for now as MY BLONDE HAIR PRINCESS WILL KICK MY GONADES if she finds out that i am not coresponding with the webmaster YAHOO HOT JOBS COM. Cant wait to see all of you and the MAN MR JOE BONAMASSA AND HIS KICK A.. BAND!!!!. OVER AND OUT
Lt. Jon
Captain Roy.
It would appear that we may now be way off course. I enclose a comunication from a Storm Trooper from The Wirral, England by the name of Geoff (cool name....and spelt correctly too) who has insisted that Scotland is now the cenre of the universe. I've re-strung all axes (guitars) and await further orders. Below is the aforementioned indication of the shift in the solar system.....
"Geoff
Platinum
From: Moreton, Wirral, England
Registered: 2006-09-25
Posts: 184
E-mail Website Re: Any Street Teamers in NW UK?Speaking as someone who REGULARLY travels to Aberdeen on business and who has also dived at Scapa flow and the West and East coast and also raced a RIB around the Northern hemisphere of Scotland, please accept my 'umble apologies. There's no-one I would insult less than a Glaswegan Bonamassa Supporter. Scotland is the centre of the universe as far as I'm concerned.
Regards
Geoff"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Visit Merseyside Sub Aqua Club www.merseydivers.com
Offline
Stormtrooper Geoff reporting Captain Roy - Realignment of the solar system is no longer necessary. That was a ploy to avaid heavy damage to my starboard quarter (his left hook looked pretty ominous and I prefer to hear Joe in Stereo) You lot on here are getting worse and I beginning to wonder if the Captain is having gender problems, with his preference for spiked heels and slinky nightware, mmmm, could be fashionable if it wasn't so tight sir! No No please don't lock me in the brigg sir, I'm only new on here honest! Batman, please help!
Geoff
Yeh I too am beginning to wonder about our beloved captain's preference for spiked heels, stockings etc. Far be it from me a humble first engineer to question a captain's uniform but spiked heels? They play havoc with your hamstrings! And another thing. I keep ripping my tights on all this goddam machinery down here on the poop deck.
millhouse :D:D:D:D:D:D
Lt. Cmd.G. reporting. Although you think I was AWOL, I was putting together a surprise..You see, Planet Bluesrock is also the place where folks involved in music besides artists spend their eternity. That very large glowing "boulder" at the rear of the ampitheater was really an Interstellar recording studio. Tom Dowd let me watch as the entire show was recorded in 1000 track, hi-def, knock-your-socks-off (tech talk), holographic, in your brain, surround sound. All those guitar Gods playing together was captured for posterity. All crew will receive copies when they are processed for deboarding. I will remind everyone that disclosing the location of Planet Bluesrock is punishable by Manilow's Law, (the mere thought sends shivers down my spine!). See you on Terra Firma...Lt. Cmd. G.
What?...Who's there?....Shhhhh, don't wake the droids! I don't know if Millhouse is still on the poop deck.....What day is it? Are we being activated?.......
Blues Alert!!!! I have been gathering intelligence (a challenge in the UISTAPCO).....It has been reported that our visit to Planet Blues/Rock set in motion some unexpected events. We should have known..1 Joe show isn't enough! It seems Tom Dowd (using his knowledge from the Manhattan Project) and Danny Gatton (with his Gattonizer) were able to modify the Bowles Deluxe Short Hop Shuttle into a working space ship. The have brought an impressive group of who' who. Using a tracer they have followed our convoluted path to planet Earth. There have been no reported sightings so far. They mean no harm and should not be interferred with. If anyone in Europe thinks they see Rory, Roy, Jimi or others, do not intervene. The problem is that the Disconians have caught wind of this and are trying to intercept. If any polyester leisure suits are seen keep a close eye on them. I don't think they've arrived yet. The US Airforce is scheduled to blow up their ship in the sky before it lands..they are reporting it as a spy satellite in the news. Hopefully our dear friends will return to Blues/Rock after a Joe fix..So, stay on your toes...no Captain, it doesn't mean you have to wear your spikes! Cmdr G (yes, I got my promotion!)
"The problem is that the Disconians have caught wind of this and are trying to intercept. "
I received the Blues Alert that the Disconians had caught wind but our deflector shields will prevent any contamination. All axes are locked and loaded!
Oh Brother!
thefinalsolution
bountyhunterjones
Diplomatic Death Ray Immunity. It was in a Case! I have credentials.
onamission
youdidntseeme
Oh, DDRI....yep, that'd do it.
Diplomatic Death Ray Immunity. It was in a Case! I have credentials.
onamission
youdidntseeme
THE BASSINATOR!
notamachine
theforceisstrong
withthisone
Joe Bonamassa Forum → Off Topics → Starship Bonamassa, Captain Roy and the UISTAPCO
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