A tale of two gigs - part 3. Only if he plays the blues...

Those of you who read part 2 of this thread will know that I’ve started a modest campaign to try to get Joe to play at our village festival and I thought I’d give you a quick update on progress.

Earlier this week I gave a couple of Joe’s DVDs to the festival organising committee (well ‘committee’ is probably too grand a title – ‘drinking buddies’ might be closer to the mark) and they were duly impressed. They’ve agreed to let Joe play at the festival, but only if he plays the blues...

It’s not just because they like his blues stuff, but because most of us in the village can still remember the great ‘why don’t we have some classic rock for a change’ disaster of 2011. It’s hard to adequately describe the band they hired, but the words ‘reading glasses’, ‘false teeth’ and ‘arthritis’ will give you an idea. And none of us who were there that day will ever be able to recall the now infamous ‘move like Jagger/hiatus hernia’ incident without wincing...

Another piece of positive news is that the ever-popular (if you know what I mean) Lydia König has said that she would be more than happy to ‘accommodate’ (her word) all 23 members of the band and crew in her Bed and Breakfast establishment. Apparently she got quite excited when she heard that one of the crew is referred to as the ‘big sexy’. With a diet consisting mostly of beer, sausage and cheese, men around here are often referred to as ‘big’ but seldom as ‘sexy’. She also said something about hoping they were into sharing and threesomes...presumably a reference to the number of beds she has available in each guest room (??).

Meanwhile the festival Treasurer – Bob the builder (I kid you not) – is fretting about finding the money to pay for Joe’s services and was wondering if Joe would accept his weight in cheese as payment in kind.

As an added incentive the mayor has said that if Joe does come to play, they would put up a plaque in his honour on the village’s ‘Hero Wall’ alongside such village luminaries as Paul ‘Brown Arm’ Schmidt (‘Nobody delivered more calves’) and the sadly departed Peter ‘Bull Wrangler’ Hoffman (‘There was no bull he couldn’t handle, apart from that last one, obviously’).

No word as yet from Joe or his management team, but on the assumption that no news is good news, I think we can safely assume that things are looking good...

Watch this space!