• Registered: 2010-09-16
  • Posts: 205

Topic: My Dilemma

I'm a huge Pink Floyd fan and as some of you know Roger Waters is touring with the Wall. Here’s my problem, I live in LA and have been offered a free ticket to the San Francisco show. I know that sounds like a problem we all would like to have but that’s not all. I already have tickets to San Diego and Los Angeles and I saw the show three times last year.

To go to the San Fran show I’d have to take a day off work, drive the 6 hours, see the show, crash in a cheap hotel and drive the 6 hours back home. This would cost me a total of about $200 and a vacation day at work and two days away from the wife.

My dilemma is that I’ve only been married for 18 months, and my wife has already expressed her displeasure in my spending our money on concerts. I’ve already been to 3 (Joe twice!) concerts this year and 3 Wall shows would make it 6, plus I have 3 more concerts scheduled for later in the year. The wife likes concerts but nowhere near as much I do, so when I ask her to join me at these concerts she says no let’s save the money.

I had the San Francisco conversation with my dear wife and I got one of those, “yeah you can go” but anyone who has been married would know that what she meant to say is “If you go you will pay, and pay dearly”

So the dilemma I’m struggling with is should I stay or should I go? I love my wife very much and hate to see her upset, which I know she’d be if I went.

If I go she’ll be pissed, I’ll be $200 lighter in the wallet and have one less vacation day at work. If I go I’ll see the show one more time and I’ll get to party with the San Fran PF fans.

What say you? Should I stay or should I go???

2 Reply by PSmith1946 (edited by PSmith1946 2012-05-04 14:05:40)

  • From: East Lancashire, UK
  • Registered: 2011-06-24
  • Posts: 3,019

Re: My Dilemma

You only live once, the wall may never tour again etc etc. In the end it is down to you really. I have a slightly different problem, my wife doesn't like blues or rock, preferring pop (eek). She's been to Joe this year, but it cost me by going to Liverpool to see MacBeth at the Everyman theatre with her hero David Morrissey playing lead. We are going to Lynyrd Skynyrd in June at the cost of me taking her to Phantom of the Opera in Manchester (for the third time) in a fortnight. She's also letting me go to Florida a week early in December to see Joe. Give and take works great in my view. Hope this helps.

PS i have three extra tickets for Skynyrd at Manchester due to kids now going away. Anyone interested give me a shout.

Come on the Blades (sorry Idolbone just had to borrow your line)
  • From: Benicia, Ca.
  • Registered: 2006-05-08
  • Posts: 5,828

Re: My Dilemma

Well Fred, first let me preface my advice to you by saying I've never been to a PF show and doubt that I ever will, even if I was given the ticket. Now, how many times do you need to see this same show put on by one member of the band? Do you really want to live in the doghouse or worse over Rodger Waters??? Wanna come out looking like a hero? Skip SF and surprise her with a romantic dinner out @ HER favorite restaraunt/kind of food. Try this and just maybe, should this dilemna occur in the future your hall pass may come with no repercusions. If you decide to go......you're on your own cowboy! Need I remind you, hell hath no fury, you know the rest.

                                                                                                         You Can't Get Your Pudding.......

                                                                                                         J Dawg

What is success? Is it do yo' own thang, or is it to join the rest?   -Allen Toussaint
  • From: Benicia, Ca.
  • Registered: 2006-05-08
  • Posts: 5,828

Re: My Dilemma

PSmith1946 wrote:

You only live once, the wall may never tour again etc etc. In the end it is down to you really. I have a slightly different problem, my wife doesn't like blues or rock, preferring pop (eek). She's been to Joe this year, but it cost me by going to Liverpool to see MacBeth at the Everyman theatre with her hero David Morrissey playing lead. We are going to Lynyrd Skynyrd in June at the cost of me taking her to Phantom of the Opera in Manchester (for the third time) in a fortnight. She's also letting me go to Florida a week early in December to see Joe. Give and take works great in my view. Hope this helps.

PS i have three extra tickets for Skynyrd at Manchester due to kids now going away. Anyone interested give me a shout.

I'd be on that like white on rice if I could afford the trip. Enjoy Skynyrd, I always do. I'll be seeing them in the fall.

                                                                                                Swamp, Swamp, Swamp....Swamp Music,

                                                                                                J Dawg

What is success? Is it do yo' own thang, or is it to join the rest?   -Allen Toussaint
  • From: East Lancashire, UK
  • Registered: 2011-06-24
  • Posts: 3,019

Re: My Dilemma

ohiodawg13 wrote:
PSmith1946 wrote:

You only live once, the wall may never tour again etc etc. In the end it is down to you really. I have a slightly different problem, my wife doesn't like blues or rock, preferring pop (eek). She's been to Joe this year, but it cost me by going to Liverpool to see MacBeth at the Everyman theatre with her hero David Morrissey playing lead. We are going to Lynyrd Skynyrd in June at the cost of me taking her to Phantom of the Opera in Manchester (for the third time) in a fortnight. She's also letting me go to Florida a week early in December to see Joe. Give and take works great in my view. Hope this helps.

PS i have three extra tickets for Skynyrd at Manchester due to kids now going away. Anyone interested give me a shout.

I'd be on that like white on rice if I could afford the trip. Enjoy Skynyrd, I always do. I'll be seeing them in the fall.

                                                                                                Swamp, Swamp, Swamp....Swamp Music,

                                                                                                J Dawg

And a new album coming out in August to boot so hopefully some new stuff in June.

Come on the Blades (sorry Idolbone just had to borrow your line)
  • Brack
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  • From: London, getting hotter \m/
  • Registered: 2009-02-24
  • Posts: 6,462

Re: My Dilemma

Go! you and your wife can do the "make up thing" when you get back home  , surprise her - make her feel extra special.  my two cents!

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  • RickB
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  • From: San Diego
  • Registered: 2009-10-30
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Re: My Dilemma

ohiodawg13 wrote:

Well Fred, first let me preface my advice to you by saying I've never been to a PF show and doubt that I ever will, even if I was given the ticket. Now, how many times do you need to see this same show put on by one member of the band? Do you really want to live in the doghouse or worse over Rodger Waters??? Wanna come out looking like a hero? Skip SF and surprise her with a romantic dinner out @ HER favorite restaraunt/kind of food. Try this and just maybe, should this dilemna occur in the future your hall pass may come with no repercusions. If you decide to go......you're on your own cowboy! Need I remind you, hell hath no fury, you know the rest.

                                                                                                         You Can't Get Your Pudding.......

                                                                                                         J Dawg

I'm with the Dawg all the way on this one!!!

Free download from Vienna! http://mbsy.co/bNLR
Lots of unique videos of Joe http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwd5vL8fXTw
Buy Joe's merchandise here. http://www.jbonamassa.com/affiliates/id … hp?id=1381

RickB's Website

  • Registered: 2008-06-16
  • Posts: 4,021

Re: My Dilemma

only married 18 months? sorry Fred but JDawgs got this right, stay out of the doghouse by staying home. yep, married 15 years myself and we learn by trial and error. Don't make the error, you won't go on trial, and you won't be on the 'dark side of the moon' trying to figure out how to make it right. smile

Tres

As corn through a goose, so are the days of our lives
  • Registered: 2006-05-08
  • Posts: 1,996

Re: My Dilemma

Easy call.  Skip it.  I've been married over 25 years, and is she even hints a preference to spend time with me (compared to me getting out of her hair), I cherish the time together.  If it was a once in a long time opportunity she would understand.  If it's a third time in a season opportunity . . . . . It's a no brainier.

Gibson 60th Anniversary 1959 Les Paul Reissue, Gibson LP Standard Faded CSB, Gibson Gary Moore LP Standard, Epi Joe Bonamassa GT LP, Epi Zakk Wylde LP, Dean Michael Schenker Flying V, Jackson Randy Rhoads V, ESP/LTD George Lynch Kamikaze, EVH Striped Series R/B/W, Fender/Squire John 5 Telecaster, Fender Joe Strummer Relic Telecaster

10 Reply by holdemxpert (edited by holdemxpert 2012-05-04 15:48:35)

  • From: San Clemente, CA
  • Registered: 2011-02-19
  • Posts: 569

Re: My Dilemma

Depends on the seats, imo. Youve got arena and stadium covered already, so the question is are the SF seats in a place to give you a different perspective. I'll be a 5 timer at the 2010+ Wall (8 timer including the 1980 Nassau Coliseum shows) and if its music you know well and love you do hear different things, even in such a rigidly structured show. Another consideration is the company there...if its someone who its important to share a PF/RW experience with then that tips it that way also. You can find other ways to make it up to her. (Im sitting through Lindsey Buckingham acoustic as payback!)

Barring those Id probably keep the peace.

ETA:lmao @ dissing RW and props for Skynyrd in the same post!

  • From: Amsterdam
  • Registered: 2007-10-06
  • Posts: 5,249

Re: My Dilemma

ohiodawg13 wrote:

Well Fred, first let me preface my advice to you by saying I've never been to a PF show and doubt that I ever will, even if I was given the ticket. Now, how many times do you need to see this same show put on by one member of the band? Do you really want to live in the doghouse or worse over Rodger Waters??? Wanna come out looking like a hero? Skip SF and surprise her with a romantic dinner out @ HER favorite restaraunt/kind of food. Try this and just maybe, should this dilemna occur in the future your hall pass may come with no repercusions. If you decide to go......you're on your own cowboy! Need I remind you, hell hath no fury, you know the rest.

                                                                                                         You Can't Get Your Pudding.......

                                                                                                         J Dawg

Like Rick, I echo Dawg's surprisingly sage advice. wink

RIP Iron Man

Rock On and keep the Faith
  • From: East Lancashire, UK
  • Registered: 2011-06-24
  • Posts: 3,019

Re: My Dilemma

Jane H. wrote:

I dunno its a personal thing. its pretty much opposite in my marriage. completely honest when i say i spend way less on my likes and hobbies yet there always alot of fun sucked out of my concerts or the like because it didn't seem worthy to my hubby. its still not perfect but once we really came to an understanding and mutual compromise we both are tons happier. we have a little more moolah than in previous years which helps and we still are not thrilled with each other's choices of how to spend time or money but we have an agrreement. and agree to try not to upset the other about their choices, even found more fun in doing the other's fav thing somewhat.
i don't know when this particular concert is but if not time before it i would suggest having a heart to heart and find a good way to compromise about each others needs and desires is a worthy effort. if you can't find enough common ground compromise at this stage, i'd think it may be better to find out as soon as possible. Alot of times things don't come up as a potential problem before tying the knot.
I still don't do alot of things i would like but its part of my compromise and its my choice and its worth it for me.
only giving suggestion since you asked for advice. i wouldn't even begin to presume i know about your relationship. I can say its been heartbreaking watching someone I am close to give up every little bit of enjoyment and $ in life he ever had slowly over his marriage without much compromise in return and i wonder how it may have been different if the little things weren't allowed to add up as not a big deal over time.
Good luck

I know where you are coming from. Together 30yrs marred 25. It's the way to make things work.

Come on the Blades (sorry Idolbone just had to borrow your line)

13 Reply by Rockfarmer (edited by Rockfarmer 2012-05-04 17:19:04)

  • From: Grapevine, Tejas
  • Registered: 2009-11-03
  • Posts: 1,248

Re: My Dilemma

I'm with the majority here.  Your life will be alot better if you took the $200 and did something nice for her

  • RickB
  • RickB
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  • From: San Diego
  • Registered: 2009-10-30
  • Posts: 12,198

Re: My Dilemma

I agreed totally with JDawg but I'll tell you where I'm coming from. We will celebrate 40 years of a  very satisfactory marriage in one month. She is my soulmate and even more importantly, my good friend, and that is the key to a lasting partnership. Sure, there have been times with bumps and strain, but giving up some of your self interest and  letting the partner know that you are doing it for her will pay dividends beyond your wildest dreams. Find some common ground and learn to share what she likes that you can enjoy too. A successful marriage is all about compromise. Who knows, maybe she will find some music she likes that you do to. It took us many years to get to where we could share and afford to enjoy the music in our lives. Sell the ticket and treat her to something very intimate and loving. Make it a surprise! With flowers. Then stand by bro!!! tongue
Rick

Free download from Vienna! http://mbsy.co/bNLR
Lots of unique videos of Joe http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwd5vL8fXTw
Buy Joe's merchandise here. http://www.jbonamassa.com/affiliates/id … hp?id=1381

RickB's Website

  • From: Benicia, Ca.
  • Registered: 2006-05-08
  • Posts: 5,828

Re: My Dilemma

Amsterhammer wrote:
ohiodawg13 wrote:

Well Fred, first let me preface my advice to you by saying I've never been to a PF show and doubt that I ever will, even if I was given the ticket. Now, how many times do you need to see this same show put on by one member of the band? Do you really want to live in the doghouse or worse over Rodger Waters??? Wanna come out looking like a hero? Skip SF and surprise her with a romantic dinner out @ HER favorite restaraunt/kind of food. Try this and just maybe, should this dilemna occur in the future your hall pass may come with no repercusions. If you decide to go......you're on your own cowboy! Need I remind you, hell hath no fury, you know the rest.

                                                                                                         You Can't Get Your Pudding.......

                                                                                                         J Dawg

Like Rick, I echo Dawg's surprisingly sage advice. wink

J Dawg & sage advice, quite possibly the only time you'll see both terms in the same sentence! I'm flattered G Dawg.

                                                                                                        Obi-Dawg Kenobi

What is success? Is it do yo' own thang, or is it to join the rest?   -Allen Toussaint
  • From: Norddeutschland
  • Registered: 2008-12-03
  • Posts: 1,458

Re: My Dilemma

Amsterhammer wrote:
ohiodawg13 wrote:

Well Fred, first let me preface my advice to you by saying I've never been to a PF show and doubt that I ever will, even if I was given the ticket. Now, how many times do you need to see this same show put on by one member of the band? Do you really want to live in the doghouse or worse over Rodger Waters??? Wanna come out looking like a hero? Skip SF and surprise her with a romantic dinner out @ HER favorite restaraunt/kind of food. Try this and just maybe, should this dilemna occur in the future your hall pass may come with no repercusions. If you decide to go......you're on your own cowboy! Need I remind you, hell hath no fury, you know the rest.

                                                                                                         You Can't Get Your Pudding.......

                                                                                                         J Dawg

Like Rick, I echo Dawg's surprisingly sage advice. wink

Hear Hear too. If the concert was around the corner then fair enough. But you are already seeing the ones in the local vicinity anyway! Your wife sounds like the kind of person who is prepared to allow you to do what you want to do, but she is probably (in her mind) questioning the sanity of it, like I am.

You are going to see it twice already. It feels like you are obsessing over it a bit to me. The Wall is a great show, a great piece of music history, but 3 times? Can you honestly - hand on heart - say that for $200 and a days holidays that the show in San Francisco is going to be sooooo much better than the ones you will have already seen?

Twice is already an indulgence. 3 times and the extra costs sounds like an 'over indulgence'. But then it isn't my $200 and it isn't my wife or marriage.

What happens when later in the year there is somebody else that you just gotta see? Just my two cents..............

No Hits, No Hype.......................Classic Rock Jan 2012
  • From: Amsterdam
  • Registered: 2007-10-06
  • Posts: 5,249

Re: My Dilemma

ohiodawg13 wrote:
Amsterhammer wrote:
ohiodawg13 wrote:

Well Fred, first let me preface my advice to you by saying I've never been to a PF show and doubt that I ever will, even if I was given the ticket. Now, how many times do you need to see this same show put on by one member of the band? Do you really want to live in the doghouse or worse over Rodger Waters??? Wanna come out looking like a hero? Skip SF and surprise her with a romantic dinner out @ HER favorite restaraunt/kind of food. Try this and just maybe, should this dilemna occur in the future your hall pass may come with no repercusions. If you decide to go......you're on your own cowboy! Need I remind you, hell hath no fury, you know the rest.

                                                                                                         You Can't Get Your Pudding.......

                                                                                                         J Dawg

Like Rick, I echo Dawg's surprisingly sage advice. wink

J Dawg & sage advice, quite possibly the only time you'll see both terms in the same sentence! I'm flattered G Dawg.

                                                                                                        Obi-Dawg Kenobi

...which is exactly why I used the word 'surprisingly'. wink

Your sig actually made me lol

RIP Iron Man

Rock On and keep the Faith
  • Registered: 2010-09-16
  • Posts: 205

Re: My Dilemma

Thanks for everyone's feedback, I'm staying home with the Wifey!