I gig regularly, and the bottom line for us small club musicians is this.....louder isn't better, and nobody wants it. Not the audience, not the club owners, and not your fellow musicians/band mates.
You are not Joe, and I'm assuming your gigs aren't as such either. For us, our crowd wants to hear the band, but be able to socialize also. We have had a ton of club owners compliment us on our overall volume, and express their disdain for bands that can't/won't control it.
If you can't get the tone out of that amp without cranking it....find another amp. Sounds harsh, but, it is what it is.
One possible solution is to use the plexi shield, and side wash the amp. However, if you're already overpowering your band mates, this probably won't be your answer.
I gig with a custom built Friedman BE. Dave was kind enough to build me a 50w, with a second master volume for the boost channel. I run a shield in front, and slightly side wash. If I had to dime it to make it sound good, I'd be after another amp. Too loud.
I have run several amps set ups, and let me just tell you one thing....if you get a different, lower watt amp, or one that you can be happy with by not cranking, the only one that will really notice is you.
Just to prove this to myself one night, instead of taking my 50w silver jubilee, Carol Ann 50w Triptik, my a/b switch, and my 4x12. I took a very basic setup. Didn't even give my band a heads up.
They arrived at the gig and gave a collective WTF? I took my 30w Orange dual terror, my 2x12 cab, and my pedal board. That's it. Now, I could tell the difference, and I really missed my rig on about 1/2 dozen songs, but guess what? NOBODY in our crowd noticed, and my band mates were amazed.
The lesson being, the whole tone thing is all about yourself. Nobody else really gives a **##. Lol. Sad, but true.
Look at all of the different rigs Joe uses. Amazing that Joe always sounds like Joe, right.
IMO, reconsider the situation and find a different amp. If you piss the club owners and your band off, you won't have any gigs anyway.