• From: Benicia, Ca.
  • Registered: 2006-05-08
  • Posts: 5,828

Re: Who can tell the best joke?!

A house wife comes home from work one night and hears some noise coming from the bedroom. She bursts through the door and sees her husband in their bed with his arm around a sheep. Startled, he says honey this is the pig I've been sleeping with. The wife says,you moron that's not a pig, it's a sheep. The husband replies, shut up nobody was talkin' to you.

I caught a blonde girl snorting saccarin at a party the other night............she thought it was diet coke.

                                                                                                       Smile,

                                                                                                       J Dawg

What is success? Is it do yo' own thang, or is it to join the rest?   -Allen Toussaint
  • From: Central PA, USA
  • Registered: 2007-11-18
  • Posts: 1,037

Re: Who can tell the best joke?!

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot.  There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00, which seemed awfully cheap.  "Why so little?" she asked the pet store owner.

The owner looked at her seriously and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."

The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway.  She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.  The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam."  The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then found it kind of amusing.

When her two teenage daughters returned from school, the bird saw them enter and said, "New house, new madam, new girls."  The girls and the woman were a bit offended, but then began to laugh about the situation, considering how and where the parrot had been raised.

Moments later, the woman's husband came home from work.  The bird looked at him and said, "Hi, Keith!"


--Vik cool

75 Reply by MontiusWinston (edited by MontiusWinston 2008-03-15 00:44:46)

  • From: Kansas
  • Registered: 2007-10-12
  • Posts: 375

Re: Who can tell the best joke?!

eva wrote:

Monty,

You are both a male chauvinist AND a smartass, but I forgive you because I like you. tongue

Eva

Nah, not a really male chauvinist (not in the real world anyway).  I just love making fun of everything.  Nothing is off limits to me.  I just happened to be very quick with the "male chauvinistic" responses because not only did I have to deal with that English teacher (bless her crazy heart) but I also had a militant Feminazi for an American History teacher that I had to deal with all the time.  Man I pissed her off so much....


Monty "Freespeechandequalrightsforall" Winston

PS-  Here you go Eva.  This one is for you:  God may have created man before woman,
but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece

Well, the night I was born
Lord I swear the moon turned a fire red