How Joe's Lyrics Were My Last To My Dying Mother (Page 1 of 2)

I recently lost my mother to lung cancer.  She was a wonderful mother and a big music fan. About four years ago I was excited to show my mom a DVD of a new artist I recently discovered, Joe Bonamassa!  Yes folks, I was a late to discover Joe, but when I did, I jumped in head first!

I showed my mom the 2009 Royal Albert Hall DVD and she was quite impressed.  My mom was a big Eric Clapton fan.  She was surprised that this young clean-cut guy had blues in his soul.  As time went on, she would become a fan.  I burned a CD for my mom, which included songs I thought she would like.  One of the songs on the CD was, “Asking Around For You”. My mom really enjoyed the CD and played it often.

My Mom lived in Southern California and I live in Boise Idaho so I only got to see her a couple times a year for the past several years.  So when Joe’s 2014 Spring Tour was announced and I saw he was coming to Boise March 28th, I was excited! This would be an opportunity for my mom to come for a visit and see a JB show to boot!  As soon as I could, I procured 2 front row tickets for the show! I never told my mom where our seats were; I wanted to surprise her.

My mom was diagnosed with lung cancer last June.  Her Prognosis was good and she was scheduled chemotherapy treatments for the next six months. She was doing pretty well with the only setback being that she was tired a lot and especially after her treatments.  However, after her last treatment in January, things began to turn for the worst real fast.  She had a breathing attack one night and the paramedics had to be called and take her to the hospital. It turned out that her lungs were not producing enough oxygen. 

My mom called me from the hospital and told me some sad news. While she was struggling to breath and talking through her oxygen mask, She told me that her doctor said her condition had worsened and that she had just two weeks to three months to live.  I was devastated.  Her condition went from ok to bad in just a few days? From that moment everything else in my life didn’t matter.  I had to be with my mom. I was her only child. After just a few hours of restless sleep, I packed my car and drove 13 hours from Boise Idaho to Panorama City California.

When I arrived at the hospital next day, I was relieved to see my mom was still with us and doing ok with the help of oxygen.  Over the next few days I would spend some valuable time with her. I am so grateful I was able to spend this time with her before she passed. When It was time for me to return home, it was difficult, because I knew it might be the last time I would see her alive.  It was a long drive back home to Boise.

A couple of days later my mom’s condition got worse and she was set up for hospice care at home for her final days.  The hospice nurses were monitoring her oxygen and administering some morphine to help comfort her.  Each evening my stepbrother would update me on her condition.  She was now in an unresponsive state with only rare glimpses of interaction.  My Uncle stopped by one evening and my mom opened her eyes briefly to acknowledge him. 

While talking with my step bother one evening, he told me the hospice nurse thought my mom would live maybe three more days.  The nurse also said that although my mom seemed nonresponsive, hearing was the last sense to go before you pass and she could very possibly hear what you are saying.  So my stepbrother suggested that the next morning, when the time was right and the nurse was gone, he would call me and put the phone to her ear so I could say my last words to her before she passed.

Needless to say, I hardly slept that night while I cried and thought what I would say to my mom for the last time.  I’m not sure how it came to me, but somehow Joes song, “Asking Around For You” came to mind and those wonderful poignant words, “If I get to Heaven, the first thing I’m going to do, is tap an angel on the shoulder and ask around for you”.  This was it.  My mom knew the song and she had heard it on the CD I made for her.  It was perfect.

The next morning my phone rang and it was my stepbrother.  He said she seemed comfortable but was still unresponsive.  He then placed the phone next to her ear and I told her my last words.

I said,

“I love you mom, Denise (my wife) sends her love. You’re going to a better place.  And Just like Joe Bonamassa’s song, “Asking Around For You”, “When I get to Heaven, the first thing I’m going to do, is tap an angel on the shoulder and ask around for you”.  I love you mom”.

I then asked my stepbrother if she responded in any way?  I wish I could say she did, but he said she didn’t.  I can only hope that she heard what I said and that I meant every word of it.

My mom would live two more days.  I was able to catch a plane and be with her just hours before she passed away. She passed peacefully. Before she passed, I was able to sit by her side and tell her my last words again for the last time. She didn’t respond this time either, but I’m sure she knows that one day I’ll be asking around for her.   Joe’s show is just a few weeks away and while my mom won’t be sitting next to me, she will be watching with me from above from one of the best seats in the house. 

Thank you Joe and Mike Himelstein (co-writer) for writing such a wonderful song.  A song that will forever have a very special place in my heart.

Sincerely, Scott